DEFINITION: When we use the term DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, we are talking about a PATTERN of behaviors and tactics used to INTIMIDATE and CONTROL an intimate partner or ex-partner. Tactics may include psychological, financial, sexual, and/or physical abuse. They may involve stalking or harassing behaviors, threats, isolation and using children as weapons. See POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL.

Most often, women are the victims of domestic violence.

Tactics often involve behaviors that are not illegal but are abusive.

Most often, patterns of abuse escalate over time.

Abusive acts followed by remorse, promises, gifts are usually followed by further acts of abuse.

Most often abusers are otherwise well-behaved, law-abiding members of the community.

Domestic violence is not a mental illness or anger management problem.

Men having power and control over their intimate partners is a historically rooted inequity that has been supported and maintained by male privilege.

Domestic violence occurs in both heterosexual and same sex relationships.

In order for domestic violence to end, abusers must be held accountable by all social systems including legal, religious economic, education and media systems.